If an alien rocked up on my doorstep, the above is what I would feed them (assuming they have a mouth, who knows how aliens would eat? Maybe they'd digest stuff through their tentacles or something).
I'd feed them that bowl of soba noodles and other goodies mainly because it takes about 10 minutes from putting on the kettle to boil the noodles to putting it on the table. With dinner done in under 10 minutes, that means I'd have a lot more time to spend with the alien, learning about where they'd come from and why they'd decided to visit a crappy bit of south London on their visit to this incredible planet.
Also, I'd be happy to feed the alien a bit of vegan food because, you know, I'd want to to show them that humans do know how to respect other species and treat them with compassion.
A soba bowl, fit for aliens
Feeds one hungry alien
One bundle of soba noodles, around 80g
100g of shiitake mushrooms, sliced
One spring onion, thinly sliced
3 big tofu puffs
Half a small avocado, chopped into chunks
One or two large kale leaves, stems removed and torn into bite-sized pieces
Sesame oil and soy sauce to taste, mixed in 1:1 proportions. Try a teaspoon of each and see how you go. You may need some more. Or your alien friend might.
How you do it
Put on the kettle for the water for your noodles, and warm a little oil in two separate frying pans.
Once the kettle's boiled, put your noodles in a saucepan of boiling water and cook them according to packet instructions
At the same time as the noodles are cooking put the mushrooms in one frying pan, over a medium heat and cook until brown, and put the tofu puffs and kale leaves in the other frying pan over a medium-high heat until the puffs are warmed through and the kale is wilted.
Keep stirring everything from time to time so it doesn't stick.
Once the noodles are cooked, drain them and pile them into a bowl. Stir through some of the sesame oil and soy sauce mix.
Then top with the kale, mushrooms, tofu puffs, spring onion, and avocado. Sprinkle some sesame seeds on top, and then pour over a bit more dressing if you fancy.