My name is Joey and I really don't like pizza.
Yep, I know, it's not something a lot of people will admit to, but it's the truth - whenever my boyfriend suggests we go for a pizza, my stomach shrivels and winces in fear.
Even before I went vegan, I really didn't like pizza, and now my options in most mainstream pizza joints is the same as everyone else's, just without the cheese - so that's a floppy, slimy piece of weird tomato bread, then. Grim.
You might then think that I'm not the best placed person to be reviewing a vegan pizza, but hey, stick with me here.
In a recent trip to my local Holland and Barrett, I stumbled across this Redwood Vegan Meatless Feast pizza:
The pizza's a thin crust, single-serve kind of deal with vegan pepperoni, ham and spicy beef on top, along with some grated Cheezly.
And you know what? It wasn't bad - not even for a confirmed pizzaphobe like me. But was it good? Alas, not so much - the three meat and one cheese substitutes added up to a bit of a claggy, weirdly-textured whole. I'm not shy of Redwood's meat analogues - I love their fishless fingers in particular - but you can have too much of a good thing.
The Cheezly was the biggest surprise for me - there was a sharp tang that reminded me of cheese - but it became cloying a bit quickly, and I couldn't finish the last piece of the pizza.
Despite Redwood's valiant effort on the pizza front, it wasn't enough to convert me from pizza-fearer to pizza-fan. But fear not, I've not given up on vegan pizza altogether - take a look at this lucious looking vegan cheeseburger pizza on Keen on Food and tell me it's not worth just one more try...